Daily Disciplines with Caitlin
Easy to do. Easy not to do.
This s’more made by one of our youth kids is a perfect description for how awesome our bonfire was tonight. Teens are amazing and when you invest in them you get a good return. Want a change of perspective? Spend some time with the young people in your life. They funny too.
[Missed some of our kids a bunch a ton, but we’ll do it again soon!!]
If today was a tad bit cooler I think I could stand reliving it. Waking up to my two favorite guys, breakfast in bed, baking, visiting with people who love me, and the sun shine was lovely. Yes, today could happen again and I wouldn’t complain.
[Not every part of every day is perfect, but if you just squint I bet you’d see a lot more perfect days… Hindsight is 20/20 as they say.]
[By the way, if I’ve not shared this before, I adore my grandma. She’s an outstanding human in the most soft and quiet ways possible. That doesn’t mean she’s not tough or sharp, it just means she’s unexpectedly outstanding.]
There will be times that you measure how your day went by how many burp cloths you dirty. Today was a five burp cloth day. Motherhood.
[I don’t think I realized how gross motherhood was gonna be. It’s understood that pregnancy can be gross. Labor and delivery totally gross at times. But the day to day operations of my knew full time job… Gross. Although I seem to be adjusting well. Today after I caught the last spit up mess in my hand I realized I’d arrived.]
[fyi, not complaining. Things could be horrible, truly. I just want to keep sharing my motherhood journey.]
Today was another not so great day, but it wasn’t really the mothering part of motherhood that was tough. The BEING a mother part got to me today. I’m a mom. At 25 years old, I’m someone’s momma. Caitlin Cook as she used to be is forever altered, but not dead as I felt today. I still want to cultivate my personal style, but nothing I own fits this changed body right. I still want to listen to my podcasts, but feel guilty that I’m not listening to ones on parenthood. Beneath the tired eyes, the unbrushed mess of hair, and the pajamas with spit up on them is still the thoughtful, colorful, semi-sociable, fashionista that makes up who I’ve always been. Today was just me confronting my personhood and it gave me some hopeless feels…
[Please don’t forget people, it’s only just about been 6 weeks since I’ve had a baby. I’m processing all the feels.]
[This is one of the “outtakes” of sorts from Sunday. I love this picture. Also love this new skirt!]
Growing as a person is strange business. I’ve talked about this several times over my DD journey and I’ve found that at each new juncture of growth there’s a period of disorientation. Right now I’m floating in this odd place of ‘Who is this woman?’ and ‘What does she feel?’ and ‘Should she feel this way?’ or ‘What does she feel about this?’. Three weeks ago I walked into room 538 one person and three or so days later I walked out the same but very different. I guess I’m sharing this for those of us who are hovering in that place of adjustment to say that is okay to still be learning this new person. Take your time getting to know this leveled up version of yourself. And those of you who love these ‘same same but different’ people, be patient. Have grace while we walk out our growth and development. It’s frustrating to look in the mirror and not recognize the person looking back at you. Encourage and support those you love.
[I’m alright people, don’t get weird on me, just being a bit introspective on this motherhood deal. Remember my word for the year is ‘motherhood’! I’m just spending a bit of time between feedings and sleep to examine my feels about leveled up Caitlin.]
[Also, Victor is great and growing lots. I’ll get back to regularly scheduled spamming of your newsfeed with photos of him soon. Been crazy tired, yo.]
Major life events change your relationships. It doesn’t have to be a disastrous thing, it can be a beautiful point of growth. Almost certainly painful, but if both parties are willing they’ll come out stronger. That being said, this major life event, having Victor, has grown Adam and I significantly. The growth seems to have just caused some of the best in us to blossom, and I’m beyond grateful.
[A week or two before Victor arrived, I told Adam he needed to get me the prettiest flowers of anyone that would get me flowers, cause you know, I was having his baby and all. I jokingly told him he should have a flower crown made for me, and you know what, he did. This man has honored me and shown me so much love and respect through this season change… I’m almost without words. Thank you for making me feel like your beautiful queen, Adam.]
Limits and boundaries are basically the same thing. But I’d probably say that a boundary is something we set and a limit is something that’s set for us. I’m working to juggle and express what my limits are and what my boundaries are. What I cannot do verses what I will not do.
[Victor was so good at his first doctor appointment. And according to their scale this guy gained two ounces!]
When you’re growing up people will tell you ‘if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything’. I guess there’s a place for that, but some ‘not nice’ things NEED to be said. As we mature we have to discern what needs said and what doesn’t… It’s a learning process.
[Dinner at Denny’s at 9:30? Dessert too? Yep, it was a day. Thank God they’re only 24 hours long.]
Not quite finished with today’s DD yet, we’re completely rearranging our bedroom. So much cleaning and planning and furniture! I’m super excited about actually taking some time to create a sanctuary in our home just for us…
[Since I promised a better picture of the car, here it is! Cook Family 3.0 just keeps growing!]
[Photo Cred: selfie stick]
Roll with the changes your body will go through. Don’t get sloppy and just let your body be run into the ground, but work with what you have for where you’re at. I’m learning what it’s like to want to eat more food. I’m used to eating frequently, but the quantity has changed, which in turn is causing changes in my body. It goes without saying, cause you know, I’m pregnant, but it still takes a good attitude to carry you through the changes.
[Took this picture on Sunday, I am about 22 weeks along, and wearing my first maternity dress! We were FaceTiming my parents and mom was instructing me on how to pose properly, so another laughing picture!]
Daily Disciplines with Caitlin 